Excellent article in “The Guardian” this week on “How to find love on the dating apps – whatever the obstacles”
Here is some advice from two people who have successfully used apps and found a partner:
Liz advises “If you meet someone you have a connection with, delete the apps and give that person your full attention – you aren’t on a dating show!” she says. “After the first date, I knew I really liked him, and I thought: ‘I need to focus on one person at a time.’ You can always go back to the apps later if it doesn’t work out.”
She also found that not everyone she had swiped right on – to indicate that she was interested – would look at the app every day: “So you get this delayed response with matches. I found the constant pings on my phone really distracting – too many people, too many conversations.”
It can be tempting to keep your options open, and speaking to multiple matches is generally deemed acceptable in the early stages of dating. But Liz and her partner deleted Bumble within a week of meeting and found that prioritising one person was a better way to get to know one another.
Another way to avoid the so-called paradox of choice is to intentionally narrow your dating pool. Joseph, 42, from Liverpool, is an advocate for finding your niche: he met his partner after just a couple of months of using vegan and vegetarian dating app Grazer. They got engaged 10 months later, and have now been married for six years. They also have two (vegan) children together.
Another good piece of advice from Couples therapist and dating coach Shan Merchant, is around protecting our mental health when using apps:
“Keep your energy up and only use apps when you’re feeling good – if you’re feeling tired or stressed, or hungover or low, I wouldn’t recommend going on a dating app, because that’s going to be the filter through which you see people,” she says. “A lot of people struggle to keep a positive attitude when dating – but I think that’s the biggest thing when it comes to dating app success.”
To read the full article here’s the link:
#datingapps #usingdatingappshealthily #takeactioncounsellingdatingcourse #takeactioncounselling