Many of us may think about grief and loss as around someone close to us passing away. This is of course extremely sad – but grief can apply to lots of different areas. It could be the loss of a relationship, a job, a role that you once had – for example looking after small kids – or even loss of a nation that you once lived in.
Loss affects people in different ways and cause different emotions, feelings and symptoms. The five stages of grief is a model developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist who specialised in near-death studies, to describe how someone might go through a journey of grief. While it originally reflected experiences of people who were dying from terminal illness, it can be applied more generally to grief and loss.
Some people don’t agree with this model, or don’t feel that it reflects the grieving and loss process. But others find it helpful in understanding the different stages of grief – although each stage is different for everyone and you might not experience every stage.
Denial
After a bereavement or a loss, you can be overwhelmed by your emotions. Pretending that it hasn’t happened can be a defence mechanism that can help you cope as you struggle to process events or continue as normal.
Anger
It’s normal and natural to feel angry after being bereaved or loosing something important to you. Anger allows us to release some of our emotions about our loss. We may even feel angry with ourselves for what we did or didn’t do. However, anger can also be a difficult feeling to have.
Bargaining
You may find yourself negotiating with yourself, with your fate, or with God if you’re religious, to try to undo or change the loss. You may go over things that happened and want to go back and change them to prevent the loss.
Depression
As we process our grief we start to focus on the present and the reality of our loss. We may have strong, painful and frightening feelings of sadness, loss and yearning. We might withdraw and avoid situations or others creating more isolation.
These emotions can last a short time or for years, and they may come and go. But as time passes, most people find they ease, leading to the fifth stage which is acceptance.
Acceptance
This is when your emotions begin to stabilise and you learn to live with your loss. You may still feel sadness and regret, and the loss my always be painful but you can learn to live with it. You can start to accept your new reality, move on and find enjoyment again.
How can counselling help with grief?
When you experience loss, it’s normal to go through a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, loneliness and guilt. Counselling can help you deal with them.
If you have recently experienced a loss of relationship, job, role or loved one reach out to us at Take Action Counselling we can offer you some support and help you work through your feelings.
This can be a step by step process or for some people it can be a really quick jump in leading to the acceptance phase.
It is possible to get to the place that memories that were once painful can become cherished.
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We can be reached at www.takeactioncounselling.co.uk
Email: rebecca@takeactioncounselling.co.uk
(Source www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/what-therapy-can-help-with/five-stages-of-grief)