This week we heard that Prince Harry had a “reconciliation” meeting with his Dad King Charles. So how is that possible after the very public bust up? What do you need to be in place to reconcile with a family member or friend when the relationship has so badly gone wrong.
Here’s some issues to consider:
Firstly and importantly if you have experienced abuse or violence at the hands of a family member do not go back into that situation without the support of others. Do not do anything that puts your safety at risk.
Presuming that you are not in danger by reaching out:
Focus on the present and future, not the past, by accepting your part in the conflict, communicating honestly but kindly, and practicing active listening to understand the other person’s perspective.
Set clear, manageable goals, and establish boundaries for future interactions, prioritizing mutual respect and a willingness to let go of the need to be right.
Be patient and persistent, as reconciliation is a journey that may involve creating new experiences and building a different kind of relationship.
Remember that for most people the biggest prediction of the future (without an intervention -for example attending counselling) is the past. You may have changed but they may well have not.
Be prepared for the possibility of imperfect resolution.
If you are facing a difficult family situation we may be able to offer you help email us at rebecca@takeactioncounselling.co.uk