There is an old proverb that paraphrased says: “If you rescue an angry man once, you will have to do it again.” Dr. Henry Cloud, a clinical psychologist often uses this verse to explain the concept of natural consequences and boundaries. His teaching emphasizes that when you continually step in to save someone from the results of their own poor behaviour — especially someone who is angry, reactive, or irresponsible — you remove the very discomfort that might lead them to change.
This is why hanging around with someone who is hooked on negative behaviours including angry people is draining, disempowering and leaves you trapped in cycles of hopelessness.
Henry Cloud is a strong advocate of letting someone face the consequences of their actions, rather than bailing them out repeatedly. He believes that enabling bad behaviour only perpetrates it.
It is also worth noting that the best predictor of the someone’s behaviour in the future (without an intervention like therapy or rehab or Twelve Step meetings for example) is the past.
If you are stuck in a situation where someone is repeatedly behaving in an unhealthy way that is impacting your mental health Please consider your options.
The “Angry” person may not change – so we may have to make changes to the situation ourselves. For more information on how you can get some counselling support to do that contact us at Take Action Counselling. #takeactioncounselling #shortermcounselling #accessiblecounselling